Sugar Coated Syringe
by Ohh Kiss
Summary: Roxas loves her. He needs her. God... If only he could have her. [RoxasxKairi]
1. Drown me

**Mhm. My third fan fiction. This one is going to be interesting, I thought about it as I was drawing a night elf during Mrs. Curtin's science summer school class. Yep. Failed that class too. XD Well, this one is a RoxasxKairi. Yep. To all those Sora fan girls, watch out. This is only a prologue, and a tester, I'm not even sure if I'm going to continue it, so reviews, ideas, all that jazz. **

**:All in Roxas' POV:**

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**Sugar Coated Syringe**

_Ohh Kiss_

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I… I just want you to see me.

No… Not for what I am, or what I seem.

I want you to look at me like you look at him.

I want you to see me.

…And not him.

I want you to love me.

Instead of loving **him**.

I want **you** to want _me_ like I want you…

Fuck you're like a **_drug_**…

You look at me like I am actually **somebody**, and I look at you, like you might be that one thing that could save me.

Save me from what?

Save me from a life of hell, of wondering what feelings really are.

So I watch you.

And I watch him, as he snakes his arm around your waist and pulls you against his chest. The way he lets his finger tips brush over your _ass_ when you aren't looking.

The way he smiles at you with hidden emotions.

The way he fights for you but dies for someone else.

The way he 'accidentally' pulls the strap to your bikini top and makes it fall off.

The way he watches me watch you and knows he _has you around the tip of his finger_.

And I get pissed off.

I get fucking livid.

When he looks at other girls.

And just **forgets** about you.

When he thinks of someone else.

And then says it was you.

I bite my tongue.

And watch _yours_ instead.

**Wishing I could taste it being shoved down my throat.**

Not like you would do that…

No, you're so much better than that…

But he would.

And he does.

So tell me girl.

Do you think he really thinks about you when he fucks you?

Do you think you're on his mind?

No.

But you're on mine.

Jesus Christ I need help.

I need to swallow a whole bottle of **vodka** and sit on the beach.

Maybe I'll get caught in the water.

And hopefully _drown_.

Waterlog these feelings.

Damn I'm not even supposed to have feelings.

Maybe… Maybe I can tell you.

No… I can't do that.

He would kill me.

Your **boyfriend** would _kill _me.

But **I** am your boyfriend… I am the one that fucks you until you can't take anymore.

The one that gets to grind against you at all the school dances.

No… I'm **not** him… I'm just a _piece_ of him. He's the one that keeps me from you.

The one that fucks **my** girlfriend when he's still with you.

And causes me to lose everything.

Because he knows I _need_ you.

You're like water, girl.

Just sliding through my fingers.

I would _drown_ in you any day…

Maybe I can just **forget** about you. And forget about _him_. **Forget about everything all over again**…

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**Tell me what you thought, guys. Truthful. No flamers please. I don't need your shit. :3**

**Hope you guys enjoyed it.**


	2. I'll wait

**Okay. So I got enough review telling me that you guys really wanted me to continue this. Fiiiiinnneee… Hahaha, it'll be fun. I think I will enjoy writing this. Please keep the review coming, k guys? Show some love?**

**Disclaimer: Damn you Disney… I don't own anything.**

**As you all probably know, this is in all Roxas' POV**

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**Sugar Coated Syringe**

_Ohh Kiss_

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I just don't _understand_, Kairi. I don't.

I look at you… And I wish you could **figure me out**.

I wish you would just open your eyes… Just open them for once in your life and look at me.

**Just look at me**… _please_…

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It was a cold day.

Just like what I felt.

**October**.

Leaves were falling from their branches and turning from green to orange and yellow.

The islands were actually getting some well-needed chilly-ness.

I was walking today, just walking. I had felt like walking. Of course I had school, but today wasn't a good day… No it wasn't a _good_ day.

I had again awoken to those dreadful sounds from a dream. **Her** voice, saying my name. The low pants emitted from **her** throat, the feel of **her** tongue gently stroking over _my_ neck.

And it felt _real_. 

Of course I knew it wasn't. It couldn't have been, but I woke anyway.

I woke to find myself in an **empty bed again**…

And I almost wished I could just go see **her**, just to look at her.

_Sleeping_…

I couldn't have done that though, no.

No, I couldn't have…

Damn I wish I would have though.

That was over now. _Over_. **Over**. Over.

What time is it?

Damn almost fucking three.

I _should_ be at school… But she's in my period five class, and I'm failing that class because of **her**.

_Because I can't take my eyes off her._

Damn that **vodka's** sounding really good right now.

Oh well… Dammit.

"Hey Roxas!"

That voice again, _Namine_. Of course, the girl he had dated for six months.

Whore.

Of course when my brother comes around all of sudden she's fucking single.

**Just go fuck him again and leave me alone.**

"What do you want Namine?"

She looked at me funny, like **I** had hurt _her_?

Was she serious?

I couldn't believe it, but she retaliated to my not wanting to talk to her, even when I did have a perfectly good reason.

"What the fuck is your problem?" the blonde hissed, crossing her arms over her chest which was hugged by a tiny black tank top.

I looked her up and down, wishing my eyes would stop burning.

I wanted to touch her again… She _was_ mine.

**_Was_**…

No… I didn't deal with sluts anymore.

"Were not together anymore."

She looked at me funny again and her nose crinkled when I averted her gaze.

Fuck didn't she _get_ it! I really **didn't want to talk to her**.

_Ever_ again.

"So? Can't we still be friends, I mean that was kind of a while ago?" she said with a smirk, playing with a strand of her long blonde hair.

I glanced over at her.

**No.**

**We.**

**Can't.**

Didn't she get it?

"You're with Riku, yet you're still fucking Sora while he is with Kairi? And you expect me to acknowledge you…"

Yes. I was cruel. But it was true, and the _slut_ knew it more than anyone.

She growled, tugging at her black mini skirt and tapping her heels lightly. "_Fine_." She hissed, and walked off.

Oh wonderful.

**_More_** voices.

And then there was the ground.

Of course.

"Roxy! Why didn't you show up for school today?"

_Sora_.

I **hate** him.

I hope he burns in the ashy bowls of hell.

I hope he gets raped by some fat ugly guy in some alley some night.

**Sora, I hope you choke…**

"Didn't want to come." I answered plainly.

_Because you were there._

He looked at me funny and quirked a brow, before grinning down at the red head standing next to him.

His arm was around her hips, holding her close.

Damn **I** **wish** _I was him_… So bad.

She had on a black t-shirt, studded belt, low rising jeans, combat boots.

**Beautiful**.

Sora gave a small tug on his girlfriends waste, making a smile curve her lips.

"Hey Roxas! I missed you today, you should have came?" she said, eyebrows creasing disappointedly as she watched me.

I didn't come because of you…

_Because I need you…_

She seemed to smile though and moved away from Sora, stretching, and exposing an inch or two of her fair skinned stomach.

I swallowed a small breath and watched her, before seeing my brother sneak behind her, his hands coming from behind to grab her _breasts_.

Pervert.

I wish it was **me…**

I heard her squeal, and looked away as she _giggled_ and squirmed.

She hated it when he did that… I hoped.

If I did that… I would do it _right_.

**Gently**.

_Softly_.

Slowly…

But girls don't like the **_hopeless romantics_** do they?

No. They like the ass holes instead.

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Soon enough I was following in the middle of a group of my _friends_.

Or whatever you wanted to call them.

Sure. I _laughed_. I _joked_. I had _fun_ with them.

But that pain ripping through my chest was called jealousy and it was **possessing** me.

I _hated_ it.

But I couldn't help it.

And it would stay.

**Until I had her.**

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We had all ended up on the shore by the beach.

Yeah… The beach.

**Kairi** was standing by herself.

All _alone_.

The sun was setting and her long crimson hair was whipping around in the light of the pale yellow sun bleeding into the ocean.

I wanted to **grab her** and **hold her.**

_I wanted to have her all to myself.,_

Riku stood with Namine rocking against his chest, smiling up at him, and ever so often glancing at _Sora_ who returned the gesture with a mischievous grin.

**Fucking whore.**

So I walked.

Right up to **her**.

And I stood next to **her**, and _she smiled at me_.

"Isn't it beautiful?"

Yes… **You** are.

"Yeah… It is."

Her voice was like rain, pelting against my lips, _teasing_ me with the acceptance of thirst and then only taking it away once more.

"Aw, Roxas… You know, I'm so glad you're my friend. Sometimes I think you're the only one that gets me…"

**She** whispered it to me with a _giggle_ and hugged me with a slight laugh.

"Sometimes I wish my own boyfriend would spend more time with me."

**She** added.

I looked at **her**.

Just looked down at **her** with a smile.

If I had to be in **pain**.

Such _severe_, intense **pain** to _just stand and touch her_.

Then I would.

I would endure the pain.

_I would take the strikes to my heart._

And I would wait.

Because **she** was worth it.

**And I knew it.**

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**Fuck! There! All of you pesky reviewers whome I love oh so very much! Its long. And I am personally impressed with it. I hope you like it, and I hope you guys review. Reviews make me update faster! Yay! 3 to you all!**


	3. Everything

**3rd chapter is out! Yay! Okay, I hope everyone likes it. This chapter is okay, not my best. Just the bridge between action and suspense. Some light fluff, angsty shit.**

**Disclaimer: Disney… Well. Fuck you. I love you.**

**:All Roxas POV as you know:**

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**Sugar Coated Syringe**

_Ohh Kiss_

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I looked over the _rising_ sun.

Its orange glow illuminating the dark night sky.

I was **alone**.

After the afternoon spent with my _friends_

I stayed behind at the beach.

Sora and Kairi had gone back to our house.

I wish I would have been the one to take **her**.

But… No.

It was my fucking _brother_.

**Kairi**… Damn your so naïve sometimes.

I wish I could just _scream_ at you.

**Tell you how much I cared…**

And how _little_ Sora did…

While he's _fucking_ with you he's thinking about Namine and how he would be with her **tomorrow night.**

_Just leaving you alone._

All alone…

And now I was all alone.

_Sitting by myself with the company of the rising sun._

But… **What if you were my sun Kairi?**

What would you say if I told you?

Would you tell me you've always felt the same?

Would you _hate_ me?

Would you leave me?

I guess you can't leave someone

**Who never had you…**

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I had dragged myself back home after thinking way too much as always.

I was tired.

Drowned of _insomnia_.

Damn dreams don't even let me sleep anymore.

So, I found my room and closed the door

Crashing down on my un-made bed.

Thank god Sora's room was down the hall.

I couldn't **hear** anything that happened from within those four walls.

Even though I knew exactly what they were doing.

He was _touching_ **her**.

**She** was touching him.

And I **wasn't** touching **her**.

And **she** **wasn't** touching _me_…

Soon I fell asleep, hoping, pleading with my mind and heart to just let me have one night of peace…

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"_Namine! What are you… How could you?"_

"_Roxas!"_

_I watched her bare body shuffle beneath the sheets to conceal herself._

_Sora sat beneath her._

_Hands resting behind his head._

"_Sora… How could you fucking do this to me…?" _

"_Sorry Roxas, you got a fine piece of ass… I just couldn't resist."_

_He shrugged._

_Just shrugged at me like this didn't hurt. _

_Like I really couldn't feel any of it._

_Namine's eyes were downcast as she curled closer to my brothers body._

_Nothing in the world hurt more than knowing that neither of them fucking meant they were sorry…_

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Fuck.

No sleep.

**Still no sleep.**

At least none that was peaceful.

None at all.

I never got any sleep anymore.

Not one bit.

Nothing…

That _nightmare_…again.

Namine… That bitch had to _just rip my heart out._

Or…

I guess my **prosthetic** **heart**.

Since I was never born with one…

I need to really stop thinking about her.

I need to stop thinking about both those girls.

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I walked down the stairs, rubbing my eyes and desperately trying to get both their faces out of my head.

Well, that was going to be a little difficult noting that **she** was sitting on my kitchen counter.

**She** had a coffee cup in her hand, sipping at it lazily.

Cherry hair fell over **her** shoulder, lightly hitting **her** elbow.

A white tank top.

Striped gym shorts.

Fuzzy slippers.

**God she was so fucking beautiful.**

"Oh! Hey Roxas!"

**She** looked at me with a smile.

Bright blue eyes piercing straight through me.

"Hey…"

I gave **her** a quick, small smile before, of course, everything had to be ruined.

_He_ had to show up.

"Mornin' Roxy!"

Sora.

_I hope she rips your heart out some day._

"Morning…"

My voice was let out in a murmur.

Almost a husky whisper.

"How did you sleep?"

**Kairi's** voice piped, watching me with that dainty smile of **hers**.

_**What sleep?**_

"Fine…"

I got _no sleep._

It was horrible…

I felt it all over again, that overwhelming feeling of defeat that wells inside of you.

And you can do nothing more than cry…

Damn, it was too early for this shit and this was torture.

_Friday_. Friday. **Friday**.

Thank fucking god for Friday.

Yes, I would attend school today…

I would be in trouble by my _non-existent parents_ if they found out I ditched as much as I did.

They were always gone, though.

On business trips, leaving the two _seventeen_ year olds by themselves.

It wasn't a very smart idea…

But they trusted Sora more than they trusted **me**.

They didn't even know their own son…

So, to school was where I was headed.

Destiny High.

Isn't that _peachy_…

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The **first** bell rang.

The _second_ bell rang.

About fifteen minutes went by and I decided it was time to accompany my '_peers_.'

People watched as the door swung open and they rolled their eyes seeing it was only me.

**No one important.**

Everyone was used to my being late to class by now, and even the teachers didn't give a shit about my absence or my being present anymore.

"It's nice to see you decided to show up, Mr. Hikari."

The smooth voice of my history, Mr. Leonheart, mused in a bored tone.

"Yeah…"

That was my response.

That was my usual response.

Almost to every question I'm asked.

_Through all the rest of school the hours passed._

It seemed to make the time go by quicker when I thought of **her**.

"Kairi…"

I breathed out, shaking my head as I walked down the hall.

"Yeah?"

I froze.

**Her voice.**

Oh…fuck.

Had **she** really been behind me the whole time?

"O-Oh yeah… Uhm, Sora's birthday is coming up in like a week… I was wondering what you got for him?"

A lie.

Of course, his birthday was in a week, but I didn't give a shit about him.

**Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll get hit by a car.**

**She** grinned lightly and rolled **her** eyes.

"He… I don't know."

**She** said softly.

School was out. _Finally_.

**She** tugged on _my_ shirt and I followed after **her** to the grass outside the stairs to the large building of the school. **She** sat me down and eyed me carefully.

"All he wants is to take me shopping."

**She** said with a slight frown.

I quirked a brow.

What?

That wasn't like my brother.

He always _took_.

Never gave…

"Huh?"

"He… Wanted to take me into Victoria's Secrets… To like… Buy stuff for me, for him."

Oh.

That's more like it.

There's the brother I knew.

_All he wanted for his birthday was her naked._

_He just wanted another good fuck out of her._

The small _blush_ that tinted her cheeks and the fact that the small frown adorned her lips made my heart leap.

I hated seeing her like this…

"Look… Just get him something else… Get him a friendship necklace or something…"

I said with a small smile, trying to cheer the sullen girl up.

**She** glanced at me and sighed.

"But Roxas… He's not like you… You actually care."

**She** murmured with a heave of a breath.

_More than you know…_

**Her** blue eyes suddenly brightened and **she** gasped, tilting **her** head to the side.

"Roxas! Oh my god! It's _your_ birthday too!"

I nodded.

Yep.

Two minutes after that son of a bitch was born I popped out.

_The younger._

I smiled sheepishly and **she** bounced up at down.

"Aw! C'mon, what do you want?"

**You…**

"Anything."

I smiled and **she** smiled back.

I swear… That feeling in my chest just wouldn't go away…

That ache.

Those strikes just kept coming.

Those chains were tightened.

Fuck… I love her…

**I love you Kairi…**

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Somewhere there's speaking  
It's already coming in  
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind  
You never could get it  
Unless you were fed it  
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks  
Past the places where you used to learn  
You howl and listen  
Listen and wait for the  
Echoes of angels who won't return  
_  
He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you  
And you don't know why_

You're waiting for someone  
To put you together  
You're waiting for someone to push you away  
There's always another wound to discover  
There's always something more you wish he'd say

But you'll just sit tight  
And watch it unwind  
It's only what you're asking for  
And you'll be just fine  
With all of your time  
It's only what you're waiting for

_Out of the island_  
Into the highway  
Past the places where you might have turned  
You never did notice  
But you still hide away  
The anger of angels who won't return 

**I am everything you want  
I am everything you need  
I am everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
I say all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why  
And I don't know why  
Why  
I don't know…**

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**Yay! There you guys go! I hope you liked it, the lyrics are from Vertical Horizon! Keep reviewing, and reading. Love to all my reviewers! You guys mean more to me than you now:3**


	4. Bruises

**Okay! This chapter is ten pages long, and I expect you all to read every inch of it. Hahahaha. Yeah, it took me a really long time and I put a lot of heart in this chapter. This is based off one of my best friends, and I hope, if he's reading this right now, that I did this alright. Thanks again for reading everyone, this story is very close to my heart and it means more than you know.**

**Disclaimer: -sigh-**

**:All Roxas' POV:**

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**Sugar Coated Syringe**

_Ohh Kiss_

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**Wasteful**.

_Wasteful_.

Wasteful.

To not even try is _waste_ of a good start.

To **lust** is a waste of _heart_.

To be blind of lust is a waste of **flesh**

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It had been a week.

_A whole week._

The last stretch.

I lived through it by watching **her**.

I got _no_ sleep as usual and I came to the conclusion that love is my enemy.

**Love**.

What a strange word.

What a strange feeling.

I fucking hate it.

_But it seems to adore me_.

Cling to me.

_Blind me from all perception_…

Or maybe that's just **her**.

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Today would be just _amazing_…

It was **the bane of my existence's** birthday.

Now isn't that just _wonderful_?

I get to sit back and watch him kiss and hug **her**.

Play with **her**.

_Tease_ **her**.

Deny her the love she deserves and then expect her to fuck him.

Fucking ass hole.

I couldn't do anything about it.

_Nothing_.

The party was after school today.

For both of us.

And sadly the bell to end my English class had just rung.

"Bye class! Oh, and Happy Birthday Roxas!" she piped.

My English teacher was pretty much the best teacher I had ever met.

Not because she was _hot_.

As all the other students would assume.

But because she liked my poetry.

My writing.

How quiet I was.

She reminded me of **Kairi**…

"Thanks Miss Ravenscroft."

The bleach blonde teacher nodded, strands of hair falling in front of green eyes.

"Tell your brother I say so as well."

She had to add that last little bit didn't she?

Well… I couldn't blame her, she was only being nice.

I nodded and sighed, walking out the door to begin my journey back home.

_Back to hell._

And my parents weren't even going to be there.

Wow, what a **fucking surprise**.

Well, at least the walk home would be peaceful, except for the fact that when I got there it would just be me, Kairi, Sora, Namine, and Riku.

Just the handful of us.

Me being the only one without _someone_…

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Everyone was already there when I got home.

_Great_…

There were fits of giggling and laughing, and a few loud crashes as he walked in.

Kairi sat on the couch.

Namine sat on Riku's lap.

Sora had been the one to, _of course_, knock over the table and fall on his ass.

Maybe I'll get something really special for my birthday and we find out he **broke his neck.**

_Nope_.

Damn.

He stood up, grinning wickedly at me.

"Roxy!"

_Dammit, stop fucking calling me that._

I sighed and plastered on a smile.

"Hey guys."

This was immensely difficult…

Namine sat, placing her lips gingerly on Riku's neck.

_Teasing_…

She used to do that to **me**…

A small shiver ran down my spine and I finally looked away as I heard **Kairi's** voice splinter my heart.

"Presents! Presents then cake!"

**She** squeaked, standing and scurrying over to two bags, handing one to me and the other to my brother.

Sora took it and ripped through it, revealing a small chain.

A dainty silver heart hung from its chain, the words 'Always yours' carved elegantly in its surface.

He grinned and nodded.

"Aw, thank you Kairi!"

What a fucking fake.

He wouldn't wear it a day in his life.

He placed it back in its box and set it next to him.

"I'm glad you like it!"

Her voice was happy, pure, grateful… So much different than his.

Her smile faded as he put it away, but she gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

She was hoping he would have put it **on**…

Namine and Riku nodded as well before the eyes turned to face me.

I carefully took the paper out of the small bag and opened another small black box.

I took out a necklace similar to Sora's but dangling from its chain was something very _different_ from his own…

My lips seemed to curve involuntarily into a smile as I placed it in my palm and examined it.

"It's the shell… You gave it to me when you found it on the beach."

She paused and took out a necklace hidden by her shirt to show me.

The small pink and blue ripples of the heart shaped shell reflected off her _eyes_ and I was lost for a moment.

"See? I have one just like it… I made them."

I smiled, nodding as I studied her own.

She had taken the time to break the shell and carve them both to perfection in the shape of a small heart.

_**Two hearts…**_

It meant more to me than any silver necklace ever could.

"T-thank you Kairi… It's beautiful."

My voice was soft, as always, but she could tell I was happy with it.

I was more than happy with it.

It was perfect…

"Aw… Roxy thinks it's beautiful!"

_Sora_.

His voice held a high mocking tone and he scoffed.

"Hey! That's because it is beautiful! I'm glad at least one of you appreciates your present!"

Kairi hissed defensively at my own brother.

**Her** own boyfriend.

For _me_…

I grinned lightly and placed the necklace around my neck.

"Shut up ass hole. Just because _you_ have the IQ of a piece of dirt doesn't mean _I_ still can't use big words in front of you."

He wrinkled his nose and growled

"Hey! You know what, fuck you, I'm hungry!"

Kairi rolled her eyes and stood up, followed by the rest of us.

Tonight hadn't been so bad… Not so far at least.

The brunette cut himself a large slice of the cake and walked off to sit in the living room once again.

I had a piece as well, only because Kairi asked me to.

_I couldn't deny her._

Soon enough everyone was eating and watching some fucking dumb ass **horror** movie Sora had put on.

I **hate** scary movies.

Yeah.

Hate them.

_Can't stand them._

But I would live with it; simply look down if there was anything gross or disturbing on the screen.

I would glance at Kairi, huddled against Sora's chest.

Her hand resting on his.

**Trying** to get him to react.

_To lace his fingers with hers._

Fucking idiot didn't even get it…

I would watch her shift positions

Look down as I did when something frightening flashed across the screen.

Namine was grinning up at Riku, whispered little flitters of **_lies_** in his ear.

That _used to be me…_

With my arms around her.

Holding her.

**Protecting** her.

Not anymore… No, and not ever again.

The silver headed boy sighed after the movie ended and stood along with Namine.

She _attempted_ to give me a hug, but I shied away and got a small helpless frown from Kairi.

**She knew it still hurt…**

She knew it was still an open wound that stung when touched.

Yet she still forgave him…

Forgave Sora for cheating on her…

For hurting her…

Riku watched as she hugged Sora and the two smiled.

"Well, were gonna get going, see you guys tomorrow!"

Riku grinned and placed his arm around Namine as they walked out.

I simply nodded, waving at them as they walked out the door.

Sora and Kairi were sitting on the couch and she sighed.

"Well, I'm tired too… I think I'm going to go lay down too."

She said with a small nod and a yawn.

I was the first to see Sora's eyes dart down to her with a sheepish grin.

Thank god I slept down the hall.

_Thank fucking god._

He grasped her hand and she was tugged off, a small confused look on her face.

"Uhm… Well, goodnight Roxas!"

She yelled from the stairs.

I simply nodded to myself with a heaved sigh.

I **hated** this.

I hated _him_ for doing this.

_I hated him so fucking bad…_

But there was nothing I could do…

I fiddled aimlessly with the shell around my neck before finally walking up stairs and collapsing on my bed.

Another night of no sleep…

**And I don't even care anymore.**

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"Sora? Hey… c'mon… I'm really tired."

Kairi's voice split the darkness of the room.

Sora's room.

She shifted on the bed as he looked down at her with a whimper.

"Aw, come now… It's my birthday…"

He whined down at her.

She squirmed and sighed, eyes narrowing as his hands gripped her wrists.

"Let me go, c'mon… I just want to get some sleep, not tonight, okay?"

She said with a small smile, hoping her boyfriend would understand.

He growled defensively, his grip tightening, "Just relax… It's okay… C'mon…"

Kairi's eyes widened and she squirmed, but his hands clenched around her wrists.

"Sora… Let me go… Sora, get off-mmph!"

She was cut off by the rough press of his lips against hers.

She returned it slightly before squirming again and breaking away.

"Sora! Let go of me!"

"No…"

His voice was husky against her ear as he pressed her wrists hard against the bed beneath them.

She whimpered, "Sora you're hurting me! Let me go! Stop!"

Finally her knee found its way to his stomach and she was able to get loose.

Her eyes now flooded with tears widened and she hurried out of the room.

**-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-**

I was sitting up in my bed.

Listening to music as _always_.

Trying to drown out the thoughts of her…

The door?

What would they be doing up so late?

Fuck.

I already know what there doing…

I got up, scratching the back of my head lazily as I opened the door and walked out into the hall.

Kairi…

What the hell was she doing up?

Or… What was she doing not in bed with my brother?

Her arms were crossed over her chest, head down, the small shorts and the t-shirt she wore wrinkled slightly.

"Kai-"

She fell against me.

I felt wetness against my bare chest…

She was **_crying_**.

Her knees gave out and she pressed her weight against me.

I felt my heart constrict and I kneeled down slightly as she let out a small sob against my neck.

What was going on?

I breathed in lightly and looked down at her.

"Kairi… What's wrong? What happened?"

I tried to keep my voice soft, she was…

I don't know how to explain it…

She was so scared.

Her body was curled against mine, a _trembling_ mass of **emotions**.

She lifted her gaze to mine and saw the placid blue of her eyes drowned with **tears** as the salty drips of water made streaks down her porcelain cheeks.

Her lips were shaking and she shook her head, eyes closing again.

_Words seemed to escape her._

I felt her hand touch mine and I looked down.

**Her hand…**

I gently took it in mine, _examining_ it.

A large black and blue mark rounded her wrist.

Fingerprints.

She glanced at me again, eyes half-lidded as she tried to catch her breath.

"Kairi… What did he do to you…"

**I knew**.

In that quick moment.

That this was my brothers doing.

I felt my heart _constrict_ again

The strikes becoming heated

**The chains tightening to a new level.**

I felt my body pulse with a new emotion.

One far surpassed by love.

And one far more dangerous.

I felt **anger** burning inside me.

The girl in my arms stifled a sob and she leaned back against me, arms clumsily wrapping around my shoulders and neck, simply dying **to be held.**

To be **_protected_**.

Unblinking I starred at my brother's door.

And unblinking I knew…

That I was going to end up doing something I would _regret_…

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**. This is the longest chapter I think I have ever written. It took me a while to get through the hallway seen with Roxas and Kairi. I hope I got the feelings right and the imagery. Ack. I don't know, I had it right in my head. I hope everyone liked it.**


	5. Guardian

**Chapter five! Hell yeah! Alright, I love all of my reviewers to DEATH! Apparently you all adore the story, so I shall continue it until I cannot continue it anymore! **

–**salutes-**

**Okay, well, this chapter isn't very fulfilling, but it's a chapter! **

**Some shit goes down, and its simply a bridge between chappies!**

**I hope you guys like it and please keep reviewing, you know how much I love them!**

**Disclaimer- …**

**:Roxas POV:**

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**Sugar Coated Syringe**

_Ohh Kiss_

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**She** sat there in _my_ arms.

_For what seemed like hours…_

**And I held her**.

I held her as tightly as I possibly could without breaking her.

Without _shattering_ her…

She was like **glass** to me.

_Cold_.

Untouched.

**Fragile**.

_**I was able to look right through toher.**_

Right through her to see who she really was as she lay there _crying_ into my chest, hands desperately clawing at mine.

Just trying to get me to respond.

To let her know **I was there…**

And I did.

I took her warm hand and laced her fingers with mine.

_She squeezed._

She squeezed so damn hard it almost **hurt**…

I felt everything I thought I never would.

I sat there in the hall with her.

I felt her whole being collapse against me.

I felt this once **strong** girl…

_Fall completely apart…_

And I was fucking livid.

I cradled her for a long while before she sniffled, having no more tears left in placid blue eyes.

I picked her up, because she couldn't come to walking.

Her legs refused to move.

Either out of fatigue or out of fright.

Whichever it was, I didn't protest carrying her light body to my room.

I set her down, cherry red hair falling back on my pillow as she starred up at me.

_Those blue eyes piercing my heart in so many more ways than one._

She looked at me with such fear and solitude…

I couldn't help but wish to simply hold her for even longer.

**Try and stay with her…**

_But something had to be done._

She watched me, eyes falling closed and fluttering open again as she tried to hold off the sleep threatening to steal her away.

"Roxas?"

Her voice was hoarse from the crying and I stopped in mid-step as I walked towards the door.

"Go to sleep Kairi… It's okay."

I whispered it.

Tried to make it as quiet as possible. 

_And she heard it._

"Please… Don't go…"

She whispered as well.

My heart **ripped** at her _pleading_ with me, because she knew what needed to be done.

"I'll be back… It's alright, just go to sleep."

She finally listened to me…

Her eyes shut gently and she curled beneath the covers, falling asleep within a few minutes.

**I left her there.**

_I left her to get the sleep she deserved._

And I left to go down the hall.

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"Roxas? What the hell are you doing in my room?"

Sora hissed his voice _menacing_, **venomous**, and obviously annoyed with something.

I knew exactly what that thing was.

The fucker hadn't gotten what **he wanted.**

He hadn't been able to just _use_ her tonight.

He had tried to take advantage of a girl he supposedly loved.

_**A girl I loved.**_

"Hey, whoa! Chill Roxas-"

_A yelp._

A high pitched _yelp_.

That's the noise that my brother made when my fist connected with his jaw.

Fucking asshole couldn't even take a hit…

He stumbled back whimpering and whining like the little bitch he was.

"What the fuck-"

"If you ever touch her again…"

"R-Roxas… I can't-"

**My hand tightened around his throat.**

Pinned against the wall.

He squirmed, spiky brown hair flailing around his face as his eyes lolled from _loss of oxygen._

"I will fucking kill you."

"R-rox… I… breathe… I need to-"

He continued to squirm, and the fear in his eyes told me enough.

But I wanted so bad to just turn my palm.

Just a little to the right.

**Snap his neck.**

Have the pleasure of hearing every break and pop in his neck as his cranium collided with his shoulders.

_Just watch him die…_

But I was better than he was.

"I will fucking kill you, Sora… If you ever even _look_ her direction again."

He starred at me, filthy eyes full of hate and submission. Fear and hope that maybe I would spare his life.

**I let him go.**

I let his body form a heap at my feet.

I heard his gasps and pants as he swallowed as much air as possible.

It was over.

He glanced up at me and only met the glare of someone he knew wishes they could have just finished the job then and there.

And he nodded.

I simply continued to stare before quietly leaving.

Leaving him to think about all that he had done.

Not that the fucker would care, none the less, _but maybe the pain in his jaw would convince him to think about it._

**-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-**

The rest of the night **I couldn't sleep…**

I could barely come to blinking.

Closing my eyes for only a quarter of a second was too long to not have my eyes on her.

I had managed to slide in bed next to her trying to give her as much room as possible.

_But she seemed to not want any room at all._

As soon as she felt me lay down she whimpered in her sleep.

Her hands moved and she moved to face me, her tiny body pressing to mine.

**She curled up against my chest, soft hands gently placed on my shoulders as she slept.**

I was hesitant at first.

Wary to even try and touch her but soon enough I felt the need to protect her…

_To hold her._

**To cherish this moment for as long as it lasted.**

I draped my arms over her waist, holding her close.

_Now afraid that if I let her go I might lose her…_

Her breathing teased at my lips as they were only a few inches from mine.

The sleeping guardian I held in my arms…

Unconsciously **teasing me.**

But I wouldn't do anything to ruin this.

_Not tonight…_

Not as I studied the dried streams the rivers of tears had left on her pale face.

No…

I couldn't make any move…

I knew what it felt like to get your heart ripped out…

And apparently **so did she…**

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**Alright! There ya go everyone! Next chapter should be out REALLY soon and I'm sorry for the delay with this one. Summer school SUCKS ASS. So. Yeah. REVIEW!**

**XD**


	6. Salty

**Okie dokie, here is chapter number six! Yay! A bit more happens and the prelude to a lemon comes! Finally right? Next chapter should be out soon, and please keep reviewing! I love reviews! And thanks again to all my readers and reviewers, they should build a church for you. Or name a cereal after you or something XD**

**Disclaimer- You know the fucking drill dammit…**

**:Roxas' POV:**

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**Sugar Coated Syringe**

_Ohh Kiss_

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I hadn't noticed that I had fallen asleep.

I guess I was more tired than I thought…

What woke me was the soft _touch_ of the girl sleeping next to me.

Her hand had risen subconsciously in her sleep to rest on my **neck**.

It took my eyelids a while to finally crack open and gaze down on her as she shifted against me.

I was actually with _her_.

**Finally**…

Her lips were parted and she whined as I tried to move away from her and stand up.

Her body tensed and mine did as well as _she pressed further against me_, **chest** hitting mine, torso pressing to mine…

"_No_…" she whimpered huskily, hands wrapping around my torso and **tightening** around me.

I couldn't help but **smile** at her sleepy actions to keep me near her… And the fact that she was _holding me against her_ made things a lot better too.

"Stay with me…" she mewled, nuzzling her head against my bare chest.

How was I to say no to _her_?

She let her eyes flutter open and moved to look up at me with a tiny curve of her lips.

**It was nice to see her smile… **

It may sound morbid but she was beautiful when she cried too… 

_I just liked her better when she smiled…_

"Good morning…" I mumbled as her hands slid from around me to stretch up as she yawned.

"Morning…" she mused through the yawn.

She turned her head to look me in the eye and smiled, hand reaching up to touch my cheek.

"T-thank you… I'm sorry for…"

Her voice trailed off and I gently took her hand in mine, moving to examine the darkening bruise around her wrist from where _he_ had tried to hold her down.

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Kairi…"

She didn't have to **apologize** to me…

She never had to.

I had helped her when she needed me **most**; I had been there when she needed _protection_, **_that's what you do when you love someone._**

She smiled softly and slid out of the bed, standing and rubbing her wrist lightly.

She glanced up at me and bit her lip before sighing, "Uhm… Roxas… Do you think you could do one more thing for me?"

She sounded scared, nervous…

I watched her.

I would do anything for her.

**Anything** and _everything_.

"Yeah…"

I assured, nodding before sitting up in the bed, still in the pair of baggy jeans from last night.

"C-can you go get my bag out of Sora's room… I don't… I don't want to see him."

Her voice was **shaky**, lost, _hollow_ words tainting pouty pink lips…

That _bastard_…

How could he even think of doing something like that to her?

I nodded… Of course I would.

"Yeah, Kairi… I'll go get your stuff, I'll be right back."

I forced a smile and she smiled in return before I walked out the door.

I ran my fingers through my hair, even though it was always messy.

I didn't hesitate to simply open the door and walk inside, see my brother sitting on the bed, starring at the ceiling.

"Get the fuck out of my room."

"Fuck you."

My words were _cold_, **jagged** as I gently grabbed the small pink duffle bag at the corner of his bed.

"Hey! That's Kairi's!"

"I know. She sent me to get it for her…"

"Oh… Well, get the fuck out of my room!"

I rolled my eyes and walked out, the large yellow and purple mark on his cheek told me enough.

**-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-**

I returned to my own room, seeing Kairi messing with her hair in the mirror and frowning as a piece fell in her face.

_**She was beautiful.**_

"Hey, here's your stuff…"

I set the bag down next to her and walked over to my dresser, opening it and grabbing a simply black t-shirt to slide on.

I glanced over at her and gasped slightly.

She hadn't hesitated to simply peel her tank top off and begin clipping her bra on right in front of me.

I swallowed… _Hard_.

Very hard…

"K-Kairi… Uhm…"

I looked down.

My mind was **screaming** at me, there was a girl I had dreamed about _taking her clothes_ off right in front of me and I was too embarrassed to watch.

"Yeah?" she asked, still clipping her bra and now tugging its seams up to hold **ample** _breasts_ in place.

_Fuck_.

"Uhm? W-what are you… doing?"

"Getting dressed?" she offered with a slightly smart-ass tone and rolled her eyes.

"Aw, c'mon Roxas… It's not like you've never seen me in a bikini before!" she added with a giggle.

She shimmied out of her shorts just as I glanced up and felt my heart beat rapidly increase.

**_Those_ were not part of a bikini!**

"Kairi, that is not swimwear." I said with a small smile.

I couldn't help but look up and watch her for a moment before again looking down, my face painted with a rosy finish.

"Namine wore _thongs_?" she pointed out as she tugged up her ripped up blue jeans and buttoned them.

"Yes… I know that, but you also aren't my girlfriend…"

I pointed out painfully.

I wanted to _watch_ her.

I wanted to just **stare** at her for hours.

Walk over and grab her.

_Touch_ her.

**Feel** her.

But I couldn't…

She looked up at me after buttoning her jeans and swiped a long strand of hair behind her shoulder.

"Yeah, and I'm not taken either." She pointed out matter-of-factly as she watched me with a serious and slightly _sad_ expression.

My eyes softened and I sighed.

"Sorry I just… I don't want to end up starring at you and you getting the wrong impression."

The words left my lips as a mumble and I sighed, looking her up and down.

A black top and jeans.

**Absolutely gorgeous. **

She smiled and cocked her head to the side with a puzzled expression.

"What do you mean?"

I felt a small tremor came over me.

"Oh… It's nothing; c'mon I heart the waters nice down at the beach?"

_Anything_.

Anything to get her off the subject of my **un-dying affection for her**.

I wasn't ready… I wasn't ready to reveal anything.

She stared at me for a long moment, _unblinking_ and **curious** before a small smile crossed her face.

"Yeah… Let's go."

I sighed a breath of relief and waited for her to walk out my bedroom door before following and shutting it behind her.

She seemed fine after last night…

Almost like nothing had happened.

She was _smiling_ and **laughing** like her normal self.

Well… Never mind.

I stopped at the bottom of the stairs behind Kairi and saw **_Sora_** a good five feet away, glaring at her.

She was frozen, her hands were _trembling_ and her eyes were wide.

I walked next to her, and her hand shot out, grasping mine, nails **digging** into the skin on my arm.

I winced slightly but looked over to Sora.

"K-kai-"

"Get out of here."

I interrupted him as Kairi backed up against me, her body shaking and tremors running through her.

She was… **terrified**.

"You can't fucking tell me to get out of my own house!"

"Sora, that bruise on your left cheek looks a little lonely want another on the right?"

I hissed, holding onto Kairi tightly as she whimpered softly.

Sora growled, walking closer, testing, _tempting_.

"Just let me talk to her!" he shouted.

Kairi whined, backing up more into me, almost trying to meld into me, through me so she could run upstairs away from the jackass in front of her…

"Sora…"

I stopped.

He stopped.

And we both turned to look at Kairi as she spoke, her voice trembling.

"Get… the **_fuck_** away from me."

Her voice was soft and she closed her eyes, leaning her head back against my shoulder.

She had nothing to fear…

**I** was there…

_To hold her._

Protect her.

**Be everything Sora wasn't…**

Well, I hoped I would be…

My brother looked down and grumbled, before walking out the door, and slamming it on his way out.

She sighed and glanced up at me, "Beach?" she whimpered helplessly with a small smile.

I nodded, smiling back down at her.

"Let's get out of here…"

**-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-**

The beach was _empty_…

Well, speaking as which everyone was either at school, doing something better with their lives, and the fact that it usually was just there group of friends there.

I glanced at Kairi as she peeled her shirt off again, looking down.

_Dammit_.

Why did she have to do that…?

Make my insides **constrict** just at the sight of her bare _skin_.

She giggled and walked into the water, a wave lapping up over her stomach.

_Her skin slick and wet._

Fuck…

**Fine**.

If she wanted to _play_ this, I was going to make the most of it.

My shirt was off and I was following her out to the chilled waters of the ocean.

She turned and laughed, splashing me with water.

I hissed.

It was fucking _cold_!

"Nng! It's cold!" I groaned before laughing as well and pushing her shoulder, making her fall into the crisp water.

She squealed and I laughed harder, now treading water out in the deep ocean.

I glanced around, "Hey… Kairi?"

What the hell?

Where was she?

I continued treading before I gasped, I felt my feet being tugged and soon I was tugged under.

The crystal water was easy to see in, but the salty burn in my eyes made it hard to open them wide.

I glanced around, closing my eyes before they widened.

**Oh my fucking god…**

I couldn't feel the rush of salt penetrate my eyes.

I couldn't feel the cold rush come over me from the ocean.

No.

**I felt her _lips_ on mine.**

A salty mesh of lips, her hands moving to hold my cheeks.

_A soft kiss._

**A kiss I had only dreamed about…**

I couldn't breathe…

_Damn…_

I moved, trying not to break the kiss, but sadly I had to.

I rose and she followed, breaking the surface and swallowing gulps of salty air.

She glanced at me and I glanced back before I felt her hand tug on mine.

She swam back towards shore before her feet touched the islands sand.

Now standing, her almost to the **cup of her chest,** and me at my waist.

I looked down at her, "Kairi…? What was that-mmph!"

I was cut off.

Hell yes I was cut off…

My heart pounded in my chest as I felt her arms be flung around my shoulders, **_lips crashing to mine._**

Her bare body, slick skin pressed to my own.

_Her chest melding against mine_ as she stood on her tip toes to kiss me.

Was this just another dream?

Or did she really…

No…

This was probably just pay-back.

_Just vengeance on an ex-lover by getting with his brother._

But it felt **real** enough…

**And I could pretend.**

_So I pressed my lips back to hers._

Arms wrapping around her slender body and bringing her even closer.

I cracked my eyes open to watch her, a soft pink blush smothered over her cheeks and nose.

**She was beautiful…**

Fucking beautiful…

Too beautiful…

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**I hope everyone enjoyed it! Please give me your thoughts, ideas, criticism, love. It's all wanted here. Flames. Well, flames will be doused by loyal reviewers. Thanks.**


	7. She's mine

**Alright. This chapter was hard, but it came out okay. A lemon. Not the best because… erm… Well, gah! It was just awkward, but lets hope you guys don't maul me cause its not all descriptive and shit. Sorry, no slutty whorish for you fangirls to masturbate to. Simply lemony goodness.**

**Disclaimer- Meh.**

**:Roxas' ROV:**

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**Sugar Coated Syringe**

_Ohh Kiss_

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We stayed like that for a long time.

It was almost as if time had simply **stopped**, waited, _concentrated_ on **us** in the water and no one else.

My lungs were set aflame as _her lips worked against mine._

I was dying for oxygen, just a lick of air, but I couldn't bring myself to breaking the kiss.

**I was done breaking things.**

It was time I got put back together.

Finally she let go, the _petal_ softness of her lips leaving mine.

Letting the salty air to greet them as she kept her hands on my chest, red hair dripping with the chilled water.

It no longer felt cold to me though…

Not with her small warm body huddled against my own.

I panted slightly, glancing down at her as she sat breathing in lightly through her nose.

I wanted to say **_something_**…

I didn't know what but… Well…

"Kairi…"

She looked up at me and blinked with a small smile.

"Yeah?" she asked, tilting her head to the side innocently.

I swallowed again and averted her calm gaze as she quickly trailed after it, finding them resting on **their reflection in the rippling ocean water.**

"What… What was that?"

I asked, closing my eyes and shaking my head at how truly stupid that sounded…

I didn't want to be a _replacement_.

I didn't want to be the thing that stabilizes her, makes her feel wonderful, **wonderful enough to just get up and leave me…**

"A kiss…" she answered simply.

"A kiss… I've always wanted to give you…"

The last few words she _whispered_, trying to hush them, **hide** them from me as if in embarrassment.

Was that… Was that really true?

"Kairi… I mean, you loved Sora… You never…"

I narrowed my eyes slightly, gazing off, trying to sift through memories.

Finally they **clicked**.

_Those glances._

Everything.

That time she hugged him and kissed his neck while **looking at me.**

That time she came over to see Sora but sat the whole time just **talking with me.**

_All those tiny things I was too stubborn to pick up on…_

"K-kairi… I…-"

"Look…"

She interrupted me.

She grabbed her necklace and moved it to mine, placing them together.

A _heart_.

An ivory heart that only two perfect pieces could put together.

She smiled gently, "See?"

"A heart…"

I whispered it, thinking aloud as I ran a finger across its smooth edges.

"Look harder."

Her voice interrupting my thoughts once again and she grinned lightly as I squinted to see the lettering on the back, **only readable when both pieces were set together.**

_I love you more than life itself._

_More than the ocean._

_I only loved one part of him._

_And that was you._

It was carved to perfection in tiny letters.

I smiled slightly as my heartbeat quickened, skipped, almost leapt from my chest in an attempt to drown itself for fear of it **beating too fast.**

Was it _true_…

Did she love me and not that asshole of a brother, Sora?

I was **confused**, and overly excited, and just… I don't know how to put it in _words_.

She smiled lightly and I felt her shiver as a gust of air hit us both.

"A nice warm house sounds good about now?" she whimpered, glancing up with a smile and chattering her teeth mockingly.

We must have slept for a while because it was pretty late out… Not yet **sunset**, but getting close.

I simply scoffed before pushing her down in the water and laughing, moment _ruined_.

Well, not exactly ruined… **Just lightened.**

She squealed and growled, "Fuck you Roxas!" she yelled playfully, spitting salt water back into the ocean.

Yeah, you can if you want…

_Not like you would…_

**You never would.**

Never, ever, not even if you did **love me…**

_Would you?_

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The rest of the day went by in a flash…

We walked around, talked, I would glance at her every now and then and **every single fucking time she caught me.**

Her blue eyes seemed to sense mine when they were on her…

Soon enough we saw him.

He had to ruin everything…

"Kairi! N-no! Kairi!"

I was shouting, clumsily reaching out and grabbing for her hands as she took off in a huffed stomp.

"That bastard! He doesn't even care! I knew it, I knew every single day he was off with her!"

Her voice was drowned with tears again as the two of us watched Sora play with a strand of Namine's platinum hair, twirling it lazily between his fingers. The other hand resting and lacing with hers…

"Kairi! There's nothing you can do now!"

_Dammit… He had to just kill almost every moment I had with her didn't he? _

"I can… I can… I can fucking kick his ass!" the red-head spat, squirming, "Let go Roxas!"

"Kairi… Come on…-"

"Let go!"

"Kairi… You deserve better than him…"

She stopped finally, sniffling with a **defiant**, _angry_ stare crossing her features.

"Let's go home…"

She whispered, walking off towards my house.

**-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-**

"Roxas…"

Her voice broke the _awkward silence_ we had both when trapped in on our way home.

Night had finally come, crawling down and creeping to cover the islands.

I looked over to her and she smiled slightly, "I'm s-sorry… I shouldn't have snapped at you, you're right…"

Her voice was **gentle**, regretful as I opened the door, holding it for her as she walked inside.

"I don't blame you."

I muttered with a teasing smile.

She knew her way around the house as best as anyone that lived her and I made my way up to my room.

My jeans were still damp from when she just _had_ to go swimming.

I opened my door and began fiddling with the button on my jeans, grumbling slightly to myself because I couldn't fucking get it!

My body suddenly **tensed**.

My heart began beating rapidly just as it had in the water.

Two slender arms wrapped around **my** chest and slender fingers moved down to slap mine away and calmly get the button to slide loose.

"Kairi?"

**I knew it was her.**

The chipped white nail polish, her fair skin.

Her body was warm against mine as her torso pressed to my back.

"Let me help you…"

Her voice was a _whisper_ as I felt her rock to her tip toes to murmur it by my ear.

What the hell was she doing…

What was she doing to me?

Why was she doing this to me?

So many thoughts raced through my mind**, a hunger in me dying to be released.**

But…

"K-kairi?-"

"Shh!"

She commanded, moving in front of me, thumbs shoved in the seem of my jeans. She looked at me, eyes _burning_ with something I had never seen before, **something fiery**, something no other girl could hold at that very moment in time.

I had the girl of my dreams ripping my clothes off and I was protesting?

_**What the hell was wrong with me!**_

"Kairi… I don't… I don't want to do this… if…"

I paused, glancing down at her as she looked up at me, eyes softening.

"I don't want to be like him…"

The words finally came out; the entire time that's all I could think about.

I didn't want to be like my _brother_, I wanted **nothing** to do with him…

She smiled gently and moved her hands to stroke up my chest.

Shivers.

**Chills and vibrations ran through every nerve in my body as she touched me.**

"Roxas… You're better than him… He's nothing… _Nobody_…"

She moved to place her **lips** on _mine_, hand coaxing my jaw to hers as it rested against my cheek.

_Alright then…_

My hands were suddenly around her waist, tugging her hips to mine.

She had accomplished getting my lips to mesh back against hers, working and prying at each other for some amount **of dominance neither of us truly possessed.**

I was shocked to find at the slightest sign of entrance her _tongue_ found its way to mine.

Gently moving.

**Caressing**.

_Simply waiting for me to react. _

So I did…

Eyes shut, _skin pressed to skin._

Her arms tightened around my neck as she backed up until the back of her knees hit the bedside and she fell back.

My hands were there to brace the **soft landing, holding myself above her.**

She didn't break the kiss though.

She wouldn't _allow_ me to even hint to breaking the kiss.

She pulled herself up to me, against me, pressing her torso to mine.

I felt her legs move to tug my jeans off and as they left I kicked them to the ground.

Her hands shot down to my boxers and I suddenly tensed.

_There was no going back was there?_

This wasn't **fair**…

I growled softly into the kiss and the movements of her tongue stopped for a moment.

I could feel her lips crease into a smile and her hands left.

She broke the kiss, leaving me slightly _breathless_ and simply peeled her top off, tossing it away.

Her hands moved behind her and the straps of her bra fell and along with it the whole article of clothing.

I swallowed slightly.

She simply smiled and moved slowly back into the kiss, **pressing her chest to mine.**

A small mew echoed through her mouth and into mine as the pair of tongues kneaded and toyed at each other.

Soon enough her pants were off.

There was only two pieces of clothing left.

I felt a small chill run down my spine again as she reached down and gently tugged at its seems.

There's was a moment where no oxygen was brought in through my nose.

No air, nothing. 

She was _suffocating me…_

_**And I loved it.**_

Finally there was nothing left to separate us.

**Nothing**.

Her eyes dwindled open and I _gasped_ slightly into the kiss.

Her hand?

Obviously she got the reaction she wanted**, a breathy moan** from my throat as slender fingers _coaxed between my legs._

Evil bitch smiled against my lips.

Evil, **sexy**, _damn_, **beautiful**, **gorgeous**, _tempting_ **goddess of my dreams…**

She wrapped her legs around my waist, high around my waist, more or less my stomach.

Her eyes closed again and she pressed her lips harder to mine, bodies grazing and skin melding together. 

I felt her tense at first, but soon enough her body relaxed and she moved her hips against mine.

**She was mine.**

**Not** Sora's.

**Not** Riku's.

**Not** anyone else's.

_Just mine…_

Every inch of her was _beautiful_.

Her **skin**.

Her eyes.

Her _hair_.

**She was simply beautiful.**

_**And I had her…**_

She moved her lips from mine, now both of us _desperate for air._

Her lips hitting my neck, moist skin pressed to moist skin as she moved to press her torso and hips to mine.

**I heard her small pants for air, her hushed mews and coo's. **

_I felt her hips buck against mine._

And I thought for a moment.

Never with Namine did I feel like this…

**Never**.

This wasn't just _fucking_ or sex.

This wasn't just a quick fuck to tie me over until Namine could pull any of her kinky ass shit on me.

**No**.

How much I hated to admit it, this was _making love…_

A term old-ladies use to get around the word **sex** and explain how '_babies get here.'_

But I knew this **wasn't** sex.

_**And this definitely wasn't just fucking… **_

I finally felt her body tense _one last time_, my name sliding passed her lips.

Her eyes shut tight and she cried out.

"Rox-!" she muffled her own words **and I felt her nails dig into the skin on my back, raking down, and the moan silenced as her teeth clamped down on my shoulder.**

I followed her actions, feeling her grip on me tighten and growling slightly at her actions. All of my nerves vibrated as **ecstasy** poured through my veins, every inch of me shuddering. _My eyes shut tightly, returning her cry with a muffled groan of my own humming against her throat. _

I let out a small pant. 

**Both _worn out,_ tired and limp bodies heaved for oxygen.**

I had only enough _energy_ to fall beside her.

She swallowed, lips parted as she took in gulps of air.

My skin protested at the leave of her warm body, but I glanced over at her and she curled against my chest like a small child.

_**She was mine…**_

I had an **angel** here to watch me and guide me…

Finally…

_She was mine._

I looked down at her and felt her place a **small kiss on my chest.**

"And you thought you were like Sora."

Her voice broke the silence and she _giggled_ lightly.

I cocked a brow and watched her curiously before her eyes closed.

"Good night then?"

I offered, moving to kiss the top of her head.

She hummed in return and pressed back against me, hands placed on my chest as they were the night before.

_I held her close and felt sleep wash over me._

**Finally**.

Finally.

_Finally_.

I had **her** in _my_ arms.

**-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-YAY! About two more chapters at the most for this story unless I get some miracle idea!**

**I hope everyone liked the lemon, I tried as best I could but basing a story off your best friend makes it a bit difficult. Well, review, tell me how I did and keep reading! I love all my reviewers! .**


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